We Can't
by NerdyPotatoFacedLoser97
Summary: The love between the future Bear Queen and the Viking Chieftain-to-be was always more complicated than they wished it to be. "You think I don't understand! Of course I bloody understand, I've been in love with you for years!" "Well why didn't you say something!" "Because we can't belong together any more! It's not my fault that it's tradition!" "Screw tradition!"
The day that she was crowned as Queen of the Highlands, Merida Dunbroch cried. She cried for a many number of reasons. In fact, bar the official ceremony, there were very few moments when she did not have the faint traces of tears marking her cheeks like war paint. Even when she tried to resist them, they charged from her eyes with unstoppable salty determination and a spirit of freedom that reflected that which she held within her.

Her morning started with drops in her eyes as she sat bolt upright, awakening from her regular nightmares. Ever since what had been dubbed "The Bear Incident" she had been subject to terrifying dreams that flashed through her subconscious as she slept. Dreams where she was unable to stop the curse and she saw the last tatters of humanity leave her mother's loving brown eyes, to be replaced with the dangerous irrationality of a wild animal. Dreams where she could not get the thread through the eye of the needle and in failing to do so could not sew up the rip she had made in the tapestry, the tear grew and grew until the image of her mother fell away from the rest of the family, into an unending darkness. Dreams where she was pinned to the crumbling ruins of a wall by the demon bear himself. Though they were becoming less frequent as the months and years passed, the princess knew that she would never fully recover from her past trauma.

She shook her head to clear the images. Her heartrate slowed as she familiarised herself with her surroundings, these were the curtains of her four poster bed and not the threatening trees in the darkest part of the woods. She drew them slowly and it suddenly dawned on her that after today, she would no longer be a princess, she would be a queen. Squealing in excitement, she rushed to get washed and dressed.

"Maudie!" she called, and the maid entered the room. Years of exposure to the three princes had immunised her from any sudden or unexpected movements, so the girl's cries did not take her by surprise as they might have done years ago.

"Yes, your highness?" she asked.

"I was just wondering if you would be so kind as to braid my hair for me, please?" the princess asked, "You see, if my mother does it, it will be too tight, and I would like to end the day without a headache."

"Of course, Miss."

It took two hours to tame the unruly curls into a presentable braid. Merida sighed at her face in her mirror as her maid secured the final strands with some ribbon that matched the vibrant green of the dress that she would be wearing later on. Tears formed in her eyes again as she glanced nervously to where it lay waiting on the chair in the corner of the room.

"Whatever is the matter, your highness?" Maudie enquired.

"Oh, it's nothing… I just… I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I am ready."

The maid looked at the reflection in front of her and smiled lovingly. "I think you'll make a fine queen, my lady, you care more about this land than all of the monarchs in history combined. You've got the passion that will lead us to greatness, you just need to believe in yourself."

"Thank you, Maudie," she replied quietly as the maid put down the hairbrush and left the room, to go and ensure that the boys were getting ready for the upcoming ceremony.

The red haired girl stood up slowly and started to hum to herself. It was all so exciting, but she couldn't help but feel like something was missing somehow. Leaving that thought behind, she sung quietly at first the lyrics to an old folk song. Then, as she sang louder and louder, she span in graceful and energetic circles, laughing to herself and forgetting her nerves for a while. Tears of laughter streamed down her face. When she finally came to a stop, she saw her mother standing in the doorway, watching her disapprovingly.

"Merida, a queen does not swirl around in circles, screeching like a mad woman," there was a hint of amusement in her tone, "Now, it's time to have lunch, before you finish getting ready."

"Yes, mum."

Lunch was an unusually loud affair. Her father would not stop exclaiming about how proud and scared he was that his little girl was all grown up, her mother was running through a list of the things that she must not forget, the servants were running around making preparations for the guest arriving that afternoon, and her brothers pelted her with silly questions and also with grapes as they tried to dissipate any anxieties that she may have. By the end of it, she didn't have a chance to be nervous because she was too busy trying to pay attention to everything else.

Her brothers had refused to take the throne. As boys they were entitled to it. But everyone had known that the triplets were not quite monarch material. They had never been serious enough. They preferred to spend their time pranking those around them and the idea of responsibility, even when split between them, was unappealing. As a result, they passed their stake at the crown onto their older sister, who everyone agreed would make a fine ruler because she knew the land and the kingdom better than anyone, holding the people close to her heart.

"Would you like any help getting ready, dear?" her mother asked.

"Yes please, I would love it," the princess responded.

The two women excused themselves and made their way to the younger's chamber.

"Are you ready for this, Merida? Are you sure that you remember everything?"

"Yes, mum, I am positive. We've only been through it several hundred times today."

"Well, you can never be too careful," said the queen as she drew the laces on the back of Merida's dress.

"I know, but I'll have you there with me, so I won't mess this up."

The queen smiled at her daughter as she admired her gown.

"You look beautiful."

Merida turned to face her and flung her arms around her, burying her face in her neck. Elinor felt hot tears on her neck as she tightened the embrace.

"Here now, what's wrong, sweetheart?"

"What if I can't do this? What if the people hate me? What if the clans don't like that I am unmarried? I don't know how to do this."

"I know for a fact that you can. You are so brave, my dear, I know that it is not an easy thing to do. But I will be here to guide you, and I have never been more proud of you."

The women straightened themselves up as the trumpets signalled the arrival of their honoured guests. The queen left to find her husband and welcome them, as Merida stood staring out of the window, watching them gather from across the corners of their kingdom. There were people from every clan there to celebrate. She saw Lord MacGuffin and his son lean in for a firm handshake with her father. She noted how Lord Dingwall eyed the Macintosh warriors suspiciously as his son gazed off in a daydream-like haze. Young Macintosh flexed his muscles as a group of young women walked past, giggling in an undignified way at his dark hair and clan tattoos. Then out of nowhere, dragons started appearing in the crowd. They landed with confidence as women screamed in shock and men tried to hide their quivering knees.

"Stoic!" her father cried with glee as a man, who was painstakingly similar to him, dismounted the front dragon.

"Fergus!" the two men shared a brotherly embrace.

"Don't worry about the dragons, they won't harm you if you don't harm them," the king reassured his people. He turned to the new arrival, "you can just, um, park them in the field behind the castle."

There was only one rider that the princess cared about seeing. The son of Chief Stoic the Vast of the Hairy Hooligan tribe of Vikings. The Vikings and the Scots had been friends for years. After decades of animosity, the two leaders met and formed a bond so powerful, it put to rest a feud so ancient that no one knew exactly why they were fighting in the first place. Merida had grown up in the company of their heir, Hiccup.

Hiccup was not a particularly Viking-like Viking. He was never strong or rugged. He exuded a sort of endearing clumsiness that his tribe had once condemned him for. He had an intuitive mind and was the only child who had not only participated in, but actively encouraged the young princess' adventures. The two had gotten along almost as well as their fathers. When they could not be with one another, they corresponded via letters, which had become less frequent as the years had passed. Their last contact had been a few years ago, when Merida had written to tell him of The Bear Incident and he had paid them an unexpected visit.

She let her tears flow freely as she recalled it. He had burst through the castle doors as they were having dinner. Panic had been evident on his face and he was out of breath from running through the hallways.

"Mer!" he called. The king and queen looked at him as he blushed and apologised for the rude interruption.

They told him it was no problem, that he was welcome in their home, enquired about the length of his stay (only a few days), and would he perhaps like anything to eat? (Yes, of course, for he had always loved the Scottish cuisine). After the meal, the two teens were left alone.

"Hiccup, what are you doing here?" she said as she hugged him.

"I, I'm so sorry," he spluttered.

"For what?"

"For not being here for you," he explained, "I should have been there at the suitors event. I should have tried for your hand. I should have been there to help you through all that bear stuff. And I'm so sorry for not."

"It's alright, it was all resolved in the end."

"No, it's not alright. I didn't find out about the whole thing in the first place because the letter got lost. If I had been here then perhaps the whole thing could have been prevented and you wouldn't have had to go through it at all. I don't want to be Chief of the tribe, I would rather spend the rest of my life here with you. If only I had been here. I'm so sorry. I came as soon as I read your letter. I'm just, I'm so sorry."

"Please, Hic, don't apologise. We don't know what would have happened. At any rate, it's over now and I will make sure nothing like this ever happens again."

He visibly relaxed and she showed him to his guest room. The two friends said goodnight, and as the princess turned to leave, she smiled at him.

"For the record, I would have chosen you, competition be damned."

They spent four blissful days together. Merida was relieved of her princess lessons for the extent of his visit, and the friends were closer than ever. He introduced her to his dragon, she learned to fly. They drank water from the Firefalls and she showed him the ring of ancient stones. They held onto each other's hands without a care between them. And when it was time for him to leave, he kissed her gently on the cheek.

She frowned slightly, "Do you really have to go?"

"Yes, my father is waiting for me."

"Will you visit again soon?"

"I will, as soon as I can. You know things are busy at the moment, what with the dragon academy being set up, and all that."

"I know, but at least write to me, when you can."

"Of course. And don't forget that you could always visit me."

"I would love to see the dragons some time."

"It's settled then. One day I'll show you around the whole island."

She smirked a little, "I'd also really like to meet this Snotlout, he sounds so dreamy."

"He's not that great," Hiccup scowled.

"Are you getting jealous?"

He blushed at her laugh. "No. Why would I be jealous? If you liked him, he'd have to spend time with you, and no one in their right mind would want that."

His teasing made her laugh more, "Isn't that exactly what you've been doing the last few days?"

"Yeah, well, yeah, but, I, I just, oh, stop that!"

"I can't help it if you don't want me to fall in love with the handsome Snotlout. It's not like I have anyone else to marry at the moment."

His eyes softened. They bored into hers with beautiful intensity.

"You could always marry me, you know."

"Are you sure that you want to marry me, Hic?"

"Well, you are the biggest pain in the neck that I know. And living with you would be harder than training the wildest of dragons. But you're also my best friend, and – " he stopped himself.

"And what?" she breathed.

"Yes. I would always want to marry you. Because I think I might – "

"Go on."

"I think I might – "

"Wait, no, don't. Don't say it."

"Why not?"

"Because I might too. And I don't think I could bear it if it were true. You're leaving. And we can't."

"Please, Mer, let me say it. We'll find a way. I could stay here."

"You can't, they need you back there, you said it yourself."

"Mer."

Her parents called out to them as it was time for his departure. They paused for a minute, relishing in their final moments together.

"Hiccup?"

"Yes?"

"Don't go."

"I have to."

"Please?"

"Mer? I love you."

"Hiccup, please don't. We can't do this."

"I know. Just, remember me, yeah?"

"Of course I will, you numpty."

He smirked slightly before saying quietly, "Goodbye."

Climbing onto Toothless, he waved to her as they took off and flew out of sight and into the horizon.

"Goodbye," she whispered.

They hadn't written since then. Both had been too busy with their own royal duties. Now, because of the coronation, it seemed as though they would never get a chance to love each other the way they should have.

One tall, strong looking Viking jumped down and spoke to the Chief and her father. She gasped in shock as she recognised his dragon. Hiccup had changed in the few years that they had been parted, he had filled out more, become less scrawny and more toned. His hair was longer, small braids decorating parts of it in a strangely attractive way. He compared his fake leg to the stump of the King's and they laughed as he showed off the new mechanisms he had been working on to ensure smoother manoeuvring. She had no doubt that he was offering to design a similar one for her father, who would refuse the kind offer on account of the fact that he was somewhat fond of the wooden substitute that he already had. She noted with inexplicable relief that despite the numerous physical changes that her friend had gone through, his crooked smile remained in its original and true form.

Hiccup chuckled at a comment that his father made to the King, he had missed the Highlands. His gaze wandered to the vast landscape, lush with green hills and a glorious forest. The castle itself had not changed and had retained the warm feeling of a second home, but he doubted that its inhabitants had escaped the clutches of time. The King and Queen had more grey hairs than he had previously recalled. Fergus was more rotund and his fake leg had a few notches taken out of it from various adventures. The Queen's eyes were lined with the wrinkles of laughter, but each fold of skin was embedded with wisdom that was greater than any he had known. He had not seen the boys, but he had heard of their recent growth spurts, which he suspected had not had much effect on their mischievous misdemeanours. Indeed, as his eyes scanned the old stones, the princess made sudden eye contact from her place at the window. He seemed to be the only one to realise that she had been watching the events below her.

The Viking surveyed her for a second. She had always been beautiful, but the years had been even kinder to her. He felt a pang of irritation course through him at the sight of her bright curls fighting against the restrain of her hair tie. Her hair had always fascinated him to no end. The way it bounced more than any rabbit when she ran, or caught rays of sunlight and seemed to hold them there when they climbed over logs and rocks, or got accidentally stuck in a branch, leading to an awkward encounter where he had to try and release it. He took in the sight of her tear-stained face and mouthed "Are you alright?" to her still form. She nodded in response, and beamed at him.

The Viking made his way into the castle with the rest of the guests, but instead of making his way to the great hall, he slipped unnoticed into a passage that lead to a staircase. He knew that he shouldn't be doing this, however it seemed to him that the need to comfort his friend should come before whatever ridiculous social customs dictated. He wasn't sure if it was made worse by the fact that he had been in love with this girl since he was ten years old. On one visit to Scotland, the boy had snuck away from his father and explored the entirety of the grounds. He had found himself on the roof of one of the turrets and he was not alone. He knew Merida, of course, they had grown up together, but he had never seen her look as peaceful as she did when she had the wind combing through her red curls.

"You ought to be careful, you might fall."

She just laughed. In that rare moment, when time stood still and he sat beside her watching the clouds and hearing her musical laughter, he knew with the utmost certainty that he would spend the rest of his miserable life trying to make her happy.

There was a knock on her bedroom door. She needn't ask who it was, because he was the only person who had ever known exactly what she needed. Opening the door was harder than she imagined it would be. Part of her knew, the part governed solely by her heart, that she loved this boy, no, man, and needed to see him before it was too late for them to be together – for they lived different lives now and she could never ask him to leave his home. But the other half of her screamed that this would only make things worse.

But she opened it anyway, and he stood there in all his Hiccup-y glory, smiling timidly in his endearing way.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi."

They shuffled their feet awkwardly for second, not knowing what to do with themselves.

"Are you nervous?"

"A little."

"You shouldn't be."

And with that the barrier between them cracked and she lurched forward, slapping him squared on the chest in frustration.

"How" hit "dare" hit "you" hit "not" hit "write" hit "me!" she yelled.

"Woah, woah calm down their angry pants. I was busy and you know it. And it's not like you wrote to me either!"

"I'm sorry if I was busy learning how to run a country, what have you been doing? Riding round on your dragon and not visiting me!"

"For your information I've been helping a civilisation befriend and adopt their mortal enemies. I'd like to see you try and do that."

"Well seeing as you stopped attacking them, it can't be that hard."

"What, haven't you turned any of your family into woodland creatures in a while?"

"No, as a matter of fact, I haven't. Kissed any aggressive blonde Viking girls recently?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"People talk, you know, Hiccup. The sailors are infamous for their gossip and I know the rumours aren't founded on nothing! Why didn't you tell me?"

"For Odin's sake! If you must know, oh high and mighty princess, she kissed me! And the only reason I didn't tell you is because there is nothing to tell!"

"Don't call me high and mighty, when you're the one who told me you loved me and then flew off into the sunset without so much of a backwards glance!"

"I had to go. It's not like you were about to say it back!"

"Just because I didn't say it, doesn't mean it wasn't true! And it shouldn't matter to you anyway, because it's not like you still do!"

"What the hell makes you think I stopped?! Just because you don't reciprocate it, doesn't stop me from caring!"

"Are you accusing me of not caring?!"

"Because you don't understand!"

"You think I don't understand?! Of course I bloody understand, I've been in love with you for years!"

"Well why didn't you say something?!"

"Because we can't belong together anymore! It's not my fault that it's tradition!"

"Screw tradition!"

They stared at each other now. Both red in the face from yelling, panting for breath, allowing their argument to sink in. They knew perfectly well that they couldn't just "screw tradition" as Hiccup had so eloquently put it, with Stoic planning on retiring in a few years and Merida's impending coronation being just over half an hour away, they had separate kingdoms to run. For a brief moment they both considered leaving it all behind, but it meant to much to them. So, fuelled by the desperate need to savour every second they had and the recent discovery that their affections were mutual, the future Queen grabbed her Viking by the shoulder pads that she made a mental note to tease him about later on, and kissed him fully on the mouth.

His shock did not last long as he felt the headstrong princess on his lips. In the legends and myths he had read during childhood, he had heard about the sensation of kissing your soulmate; there was supposed to be explosions and birdsong and fire. This felt nothing like that. Instead he felt like he was flying again. Every fibre of his being was vibrating with excitement and nerves. There was heat flowing through his veins which seemed to radiate from every point that they connected, but it wasn't a burning, it was more like the feeling of falling asleep, the feeling of security and comfort. It felt like he was home. It felt… wet? He opened his eyes to see Merida weeping in front of him.

"Mer, I…" he sighed, "I'm sorry."

"No, I shouldn't have done it," she whispered, "But I couldn't help myself."

"I wish…"

"I know."

He handed her the handkerchief that he kept on his person. It smelled like him as she wiped her eyes and handed it back.

"You keep it," he said.

"Thank you."

"Well, I had better get downstairs, find a decent seat."

"Yeah. And my mother will be looking for me at any second now."

Hiccup started slowly down the corridor, stopping at the end and turning to face her.

"We were never going to work out, were we?"

"I don't think so. There was always too many obstacles to get past."

"Mer?"

"Yes?"

"In however many years' time, promise me something?"

"Anything."

"I just want you to remember."

"Remember what?"

"I loved you. I loved you so much."

"I loved you too."

Then he left her standing and staring at the end of a hallway. She returned to her room and washed her face, erasing the evidence of their emotional encounter. Her mother joined her after a while, ready to escort her to the ceremony.

They walked down the hall, arm in arm, and not making eye contact with the spectators but she knew that he was watching her. King Fergus and Queen Elinor relinquished their crowns and Merida had hers placed firmly on her head, vowing to watch over and protect her nation. The guests cried out in support of their new monarch and then made their way to the dining hall where the feasts began. The music played in joyous harmony with the dancing people. Congratulations were made. Hiccup and Merida danced only once with each other in keeping with tradition, exchanging wistful glances and forced smiles.

The only time that they exchanged more words that night was when Hiccup found her on top of their turret after all the partying had finally ceased. She was watching the sun come up, still clad in all her finery, although the crown had been carefully locked away to prevent her from losing it and her hair now hung in its usual mane around her waist.

"It's a beautiful sunrise today, Hic."

"Yes, I don't think I've ever seen anything so beautiful," he replied, but he wasn't looking at the sun.

They lay in silence for a long time, just enjoying the view and the company.

"I love this land so much, you know, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like to leave it all behind."

"I know what you mean. Berk isn't nearly as stunning as all of this, but it is home."

She sighed. "I suppose I had better go to bed. I have a full day of queenly duties ahead of me."

"I'm so proud of you, Mer."

"Thank you. And I want you to know, no matter what happens, Berk will always have an alliance with this kingdom."

"I know, and the same to you. Just ask and you'll have our unconditional support."

She was crying again, so he hugged her.

"I don't want to lose my best friend, Hic."

"That'll never happen."

The next few days passed in a blur, until the Vikings were ready to depart.

Fergus and Stoic had a manly goodbye, while Elinor rolled her eyes. The triplets were still trying to convince the adults that they should be allowed pet dragons, but it was to no avail. Merida and Hiccup said goodbye in a formal manner in front of the rest of visiting tribe.

"Promise you'll actually write this time?"

"Of course," he replied before mounting Toothless.

And he did. Merida heard all about the updates of the dragons. She was thrilled at the tale of finding his mother after many years, and she wept like a child when she heard of the death of Chief Stoic. Her father was inconsolable for days, so the royal procession travelled to Berk to pay their respect. The mourners were too busy with their own grief to notice the Bear Queen secretly slip her hand into that of the new Chieftain. They had a few political meetings over the years, but they never lost the easy friendship that they had known. Even when news reached the Highlands that Hiccup was to marry Astrid, the very same blonde who had kissed him years before, Merida attended the ceremony and smiled at the nervous groom. They danced at the party afterwards and he told her that he still loved her the most, she smiled and replied that she did too.

The Queen never married, but she had never needed to for she ruled over her kingdom with all the compassion and wisdom and strength of her parents. She should have lived a hundred years, but instead she only had fifty eight. As she had done in the young years of her reign, she fought valiantly alongside her army, refusing to hide away in a castle during battles. Her archery skills saved her country many times. He fought with her, naturally. The Vikings were the closest ally that the Scots had in all her years as queen. It was only fitting that he would be battling with her when she died.

She had not seen the arrow coming, but it punctured her stomach and caused her to fall to the ground. In a rage, Hiccup killed the shooter and many more people as he raced to get to her. The troops defended him as he said his final farewell to her.

"Mer? Mer? MER? Talk to me, talk to me," he begged.

"I, I, I don't th-think that-"

"Don't say that, we'll find a way to help you, Mer."

She coughed, splattering more blood onto his armour.

"I don't think you c-can."

"Please, Mer, I'll save you."

"Hic-Hiccup, th-thank you, for everyth-thing."

"No, don't leave me. You can't leave me."

"I have to," she laughed slightly, cringing from the pain of it, "Doesn't this sound f-familiar?"

He smiled briefly before holding her close.

"Now isn't quite the time for jokes."

"Then when is the t-time? Because I d-don't have much longer."

"Merida…"

"You never call me M-Merida. You always c-called me Mer. W-Why?"

"Because it was your nickname. And that meant we were friends."

"Oh, I s-see."

Her coughing intensified and she shook violently.

"No! Merida, no!"

"D-does this mean that w-we're not fr-friends anym-more?" she asked with a smile.

"We will always be friends."

The two men protecting his back continued to fight as one called over to him, "We can't hold them off much longer, Sir!"

She looked into his eyes, "G-go. Our people need you. Go."

"I love you so much."

"I know. I love you too."

"Always have."

"Always will."

"I'll find you after this is all over, we'll get you help."

"There's n-no point. I won't be ar-round."

"Mer…"

"Go, Hic, go."

He kissed her lips sweetly, as if they were still eighteen and sitting on the roof of the castle, not almost sixty year olds dying on a battlefield watered with blood. Then he got up and charged at the enemy. They won the war, but paid a heavy price for it.

When he found her body in the aftermath, laying right where he'd left it, but with the arrow from her stomach buried deep in an enemy body next to her. Hiccup smiled through his tears at the thought of her fighting for freedom until the life had drained completely from her body. He placed his lips on her forehead and carried her remains to the steps of the castle. It wasn't until the funeral that he had allowed himself to completely break down, sat in their place up so high.

The wind blew lazily past him, not knowing nor caring that it was rippling its way through a graveyard. It almost sounded like her voice.

"You ought to be careful, you might fall." She said, like he had once, many years ago. He just laughed.

The rest of his life he mourned her, not ever able to forget. In his final moments, at the ripe old age of ninety four, he smiled and breathed her name. He was at last joining her. He was at last coming home.


End file.
